December 25, 2006
Basketball parents mind your manners
Let’s play "Name That Setting."
There are game-playing youngsters, surrounded by older and ostensibly more mature spectators. Some of the adults are not so affectionately showering a few of the kids with taunts such as "p---y&quo; and "f----t."
Okay, where is this taking place?
Could it be Las Vegas, as part of a warped version of an underage ultimate fighting match, with large sums of money riding on the outcome of the contest?
Or on part of a planet yet undiscovered, with the manhood of many in the audience somehow riding on who is the game’s victor?
How about somewhere in a sick and twisted alternative universe?
You’re out of guesses. No, too often this behavior can be seen at high school basketball games across the country.
Now there’ absolutely nothing wrong with an opposing team venturing into a gym that could best be described as a bee hive.
But how about utilizing cleverness in an attempt at rattling an opponent?
Yes, that might take a bit more brainpower and a touch of self-control but who can forget the North Carolina State player, who was charged with robbing a pizza deliverer, being greeted at Cameron Indoor Stadium with hundreds of Dookie students holding up empty pizza boxes?
Or when a certain USC guard got punked by some ingenious Cal fans prior to a USC/UC Berkeley match. The backcourter connected online with a coed named Victoria. They exchanged photos and then agreed to meet after the game. When this player’s name was announced prior to the contest, Cal fans began shouting "Vic-tor-ia, Vic-tor-ia" and kept this up for a full 40 minutes, also including the player’s cell phone number. Needless to say, the guard proceeded to have a very poor game.
Or, if razzing the refs is the goal, how about this old standby: "I’m blind, I’m deaf. I want to be a ref!"
For clarification, it’s not always or just the adults who display such a limited vocabulary but it’s far more inexcusable for someone legally considered an adult to engage in such reprehensible behavior. Make that pre-juvenile-type activity.
To all those individuals: What are you thinking? More to the point, are you thinking?
And just what are you modeling? You are first and foremost shaming yourself, plus dragging down the team and school you are seemingly supporting, and also compromising the area where the game is taking place. Your abominable invective is outright abuse and you are disgracing yourself.
In another realm, this lack of decorum is sometimes displayed on message boards. Whether it be an adult or an adolescent safely hiding behind a pseudonym at the keyboard, what purpose is served by flaming a player, coach or another poster? Does typing "so-and-so sux" or "u sound like an idiot" or worse really provide some sense of satisfaction?
Some parents, who are out of touch with reality, become shameless promoters of their children’s abilities (or lack thereof) on public forums and personally attack anyone who disagrees. If it gives you an ‘I got him good’ feeling, then it’s a good bet you’re still not completely potty-trained.
Just like screaming scorn from the bleachers, ask yourself ‘is this something I would directly say to this individual in person?’ The honest answer is typically ‘no’--so why do it anonymously? Just because you can? Such slamming certainly does not move the discourse forward nor does it increase your manhood.
So often, it boils down to thinking. Don’t just react. Try this simple test: would I want such unwarranted venom directed at me?
Now don’t get me wrong--it’s fine to disagree with someone. That happens all the time and spirited debate is often healthy. Just don’t coat your feelings with unnecessary and unwarranted insolence. Lace it with facts and logic. Then, chances are the interaction won’t devolve into a prepubescent pissing contest.
Also, a number of coaches have said to me they don’t care what is directed to or said to them because they are adults and figure it comes with the territory of being a public figure. But they insist that such behavior towards a kid is completely out of bounds, whether it be tossed at a 6-foot-7 youngster or a 300 pound lineman. The latter are not adults, are out there trying to do their best and should be applauded just for competing, period.
I went to a college game the other day and watched my team lose. Yes, I was disappointed but I was also taken by how the opposing team played so unselfishly, even overpassing at times, and by how a couple of their members would rush over and help up a player on my team who had taken a tumble. I thought this was classy.
Maybe I’m just old-fashioned or just not with the times but I prefer retaining my self-respect. If I don’t conduct myself accordingly and demonstrate respect of self and others, why should I expect anyone to behave that way towards me?
Merry Christmas!