Posted by m1s1n (153.90.114.188) on September 15, 2004 at 21:47:20:
Kids today - never thought I'd say that -
To them, it's all D.D.R. and rat-tat-tat-tat
Star Wars: Pod Racer and Jambo Safari
They have forgotten the name of Atari.
There was a time before Tekken Tag,
Before House of the Dead Three was the new bag,
Before five minutes of play cost a whole freaking dollar,
Before Jurassic Park Hunter's digitally remastered dinosaur holler.
Before your prepubescent eyes were glued to Lara Croft
The flap of a Joust ostrich-knight set me aloft
Before you cut swaths with the Warrior Zhou Yu,
I was scoring 1-ups (doodle-deedlee-doo!)
You got twelve buttons? One's all I bring.
But I can do super jumps - I am the Mountain King.
I beat Doctor Wily in Megaman One,
Before you had jetpacks, slide jumps, a charged gun.
Play they new Zelda, if you're in need of coddlin',
Link and I'll be out back, hacking up Moblins,
Keeping it real- twitch, testosterone, imagination,
The mundane graphics belying our elation.
To hell with all you new-school haters
You Time Crisis crack shots and you Tony Hawk Skaters
Your arrogance can't hide that you're all traitors;
50-hit combos do not make great debaters,
And I can make the Pitfall guy balance on gators.
-Jim Bunting